Proud to present our first guest writer for Father`s Day - Johan Bosini - A must read!!

The Soccer world cup in South Africa has been sensational so far. Never before has South Africa been the centre of the world in such a positive context since the release of Nelson Mandela in 1990. The pride South Africans feel for having so far pulled off a world-class event, displayed by the constant humming the of the Vuvuzelas, is not too dissimilar to that of the pride a parent feels towards their children. Thankfully we don’t have to show our pride and affirmation with an instrument such as the Vuvuzela!

Upon reflection fatherhood can be compared to raising one of the teams in the world cup. Being a father entails more than just being a member of the crowd however; it encompasses elements of some coaching, some refereeing and also being the supporter in the stands watching from a distance, sometimes unable to participate in the game.

Coaching involves protecting, teaching and guiding. You always want the best for your children and your job is to equip them with skills to best tackle the world out there and set them up for success. The second task is that of a referee. Our role is to take sides without letting on that we have done so to the other teams coach.

Raising boys in particular is part fun and part guerilla warfare, but as fathers we support the little hooligans regardless. The simple supporter of any soccer team is one of the most important. I have become my children’s number 1 fan, much like all fathers think their kids’ unrecognizable clay figurine from pottery class is simply far superior to anyone else’s in the history of all clay figurines.  There will be times where my boys (aged 4 and 5) will want to do something I know won’t work, but as a loyal fan of the side I support them and let them attempt the activity, with a negative outcome yielding no less pride than I already have for having them. Being a father thus affords you the luxury of supporting a winning team, regardless of the outcome.

Being a father can most certainly be difficult, starting with the transition of being number two in the house in the eyes of your better half, to having to sacrifice time, money and personal space, all elements of your life that become less important as you begin to enjoy your children. We assume that we need to be hard-nosed and courageous leaders in the family, but the truth is our kids are looking for stability and loving parents so that they gain confidence in themselves to be willing to make mistakes. This stability is a team effort provided by more than just a father, but by mothers, grandparents and friends too. 

As the first little while passes and your kids begin to interact more you realize that being a father is a process which we should enjoy as we nurture a new personality and see a new person take shape. You have to be a child yourself again to connect with your child which is a very convenient excuse to use on your wife when you buy a Playstation 3 or a Scalextric set “for the kids”. Right from changing nappies to dropping children to school, you re-live your entire childhood. There is something very satisfying and completing in being a father that allows us to reflect back on our own childhoods from a very different perspective. 

Being a father is not just about children however. We are only able to be fathers if we have a mother in the equation. The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. It is this bond that ultimately can provide a platform for your children to catapult into life with the tools necessary for our ever-changing world that we live in. A recent trip away with my wife (without the kids) cemented that my wife is not only a great mother and my partner, but a great friend too (albeit one that has a particular affinity with expensive shoes). It reminded me that being a father is not only about children, but about high heels, and nappies too.